I'm up late with the baby thinking about weighty things like how I want to parent our children with specific goals in mind. For instance, I want our daughters to be women of strong character when they are grown. That means I need to make parenting choices that move us specifically in that direction. Today.
I refuse to parent haphazadously. It's too great of a privilege to be taken lightly. We instill character (good or bad) starting right now. That means parenting must be done very intentionally, teaching lessons in daily life even when they are not fun to teach. We say "no" sometimes to things when it is easier to say "yes." A lot actually.
I think good parenting should feel like hard work much of the time.
I do and will fail all the time, which is why I need God's grace.
One of the things Princess is currently learning is delayed gratification. How much better would the world be if more parents taught their children delayed gratification! Just thinking about the difference it would make in debt/spending habits in our country alone is mind-boggling. I'm practicing delayed gratification at this very moment - Do you think Smooch will let me go to bed before 1 a.m. tonight? Will I get to take a shower tomorrow? ;-)
I started to ponder these things two days ago when Princess pointed out to me that Tinkerbell (on a greeting card) was "NAKED!" So my two-year-old recognized that a cartoon fairy is a little scantily clad. No big deal, right? Well...it is a big deal if I am thinking futuristically, with specfic goals in mind for my child.
You see, Tinkerbell also resides on our daughter's bedroom wall (along with some of her more well-behaved Disney friends). Everything we do or don't do - everything we expose our children to - teaches them what is acceptable, normal, good...or otherwise. Isn't that frightening!? It's humbling really. Obviously we can't shield our children from everything we think is undesirable, but we certainly can choose what we put in front of them and what we let into our homes. I choose to recognize the influence my husband and I have on creating our daughter's "normal." We discussed it briefly the other night.
We have given Tinkerbell the boot.
She will not be teaching our daughter how a lady dresses and she will certainly not be teaching her how one acts. Will we allow Princess to watch Peter Pan someday (when our somewhat sensitive, nightmare-prone child is more likely to enjoy it)? I'm sure we will! But we won't be celebrating Tinkerbell or hanging her picture on our walls. Well, not anymore. ;-)
Thanks for bringing that up, daughter.
3 comments:
I'll give you a hearty amen, here. Having a boy makes me all the more aware of how seductive our culture is, from the very start. Just as it is important to guard our daughters hearts and minds from a destructive view of what being a woman really is, the same must apply for our sons. That we guard their hearts and minds from the lusts of the flesh, and teach them how a real lady truly is. Sadly...it starts with Tinkerbell and the like. People will say "how petty, it's only a cartoon" but do they really have no clue? What goes in the eyes and ears very much cultivates what grows in the heart. We must teach our kiddos to above all, live Holy.
Great post!
I so agree about tink. My mom is OBSESSED with Tinkerbell and quite frankly, she is scantly clad... and i dont appreciate that. I hid/discard all things Tinkerbell my mom gives her. I'm actually feel that way about pretty much any recognizable character. I dont like the fact that my daughter doesn't watch tv at home, yet goes banana's for Elmo some how. Where did she learn that from>
Loved this post!
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