Princess's Guilty Conscience

Last night, while trying to convince Princess that, yes, she was tired, and, yes, monsters are only pretend, I laid there and told her how much I loved her.  She responded with a serious look on her face, "Even when I do naughty things?"

"Yes, I love you even when you do naughty things."

Without hesitation, she proceeded to confess the "naughty thing"  she did during our trip last weekend to Arizona.  According to the memory of a three-year-old, she was supposed to be taking a nap at her cousin's house while Mommy and Daddy were out and about.  She was having a hard time falling asleep because and she was talking too much.  As a result, she was separated from her cousin and put to bed for nap time in another room.  (Good move, by the way.)  However, she did not stay in that room, but instead stealthily sneaked back over to her cousins room in direct disobedience.

And the guilt had been eating at her. 

I had felt that Princess was acting a smidge distant since our return home from AZ, but I attributed it to over-tiredness from such a fun, busy weekend of travel. 

Then it hit me. 

Her guilty conscience over something that seemed completely unrelated to me (disobeying her aunt), was actually causing her to distance herself from me.  I am the one who spends the most time with her, teaching her, training her, kissing her ouchies.  I am the one, along with my husband, who has instilled those age-appropriate morals in her, and I am the one to whom she feels she must answer for all of her choices - good and bad.  Her guilt over disobeying her aunt was affecting our relationship.

Then it hit me again.

So it is with us and God.  As it is mentioned over and over again in the Bible, when I sin against anyone, I sin against God.  And until I make things right again, there is a barrier between me and God, and I feel distanced from Him.  Even if I don't feel like my relationship with the other person is damaged, my relationship with God surely is and we must make things right (with that other person and with God) in order to enjoy the closeness I so desire to have with Him.

I already knew this, and I have experienced it time and time again.  But isn't it wonderful and humbling the way parenting can remind you of spiritual truths in a way that allows you to really grasp and feel the impact of it?  I hated feeling distance between Princess and I (even though I thought it was a simple sleep issue), and I was so relieved that she confessed what had been bothering her so that we could be close again.  Think of how the Lord feels when I allow something to come between us for weeks, months, even years.  I have done it, and it breaks my heart that I have.  It is very awe-inspiring the way that parenting puts us in a position where we get to see things from the Lord's perspective, as much as our feeble human minds are able to catch even the tiniest glimpse of it.     I wonder what other truths my children will help "hit home" for me over the years...  Yes, the Lord uses even the smallest and weakest among us to teach us, and I think it is beautiful.

P.S.  Princess is writing a letter of apology (she's not great on the phone yet), and she's learning all about how we need to confess things to each other and to God so that we can move on with a clear conscience.  

Thank you God for teachable moments and the teachable spirits of children.  I still have so much to learn myself.