Another Painful Post About the Potty - A Story With a Moral

Perilously hanging on the edge of insanity, crying about it seemed like the best solution at the moment. True, the hormones of pregnancy were not helping, but I was at the end of my rope and I was finally ready to give up.

I do not give up easily.

"Princess, do you want to wear diapers or underwear?" I winced as I said it, bracing myself for her answer. I was careful to use a neutral tone so as not to influence her choice. But honestly? I secretly hoped she would say diapers - permission from the perpetrator herself to give up. For now. Maybe we'd take a break for a week. Maybe a couple of months. All I knew was that I was beyond the point of exhaustion.

Nobody could have warned me that a relapse would be this hard. Each day we seemed to digress even more, with no promise of improvement. No light at the end of the tunnel. My lower back complained each time I got down on my hands and knees to clean up yet another "accident." I was becoming less and less willing to leave the house, even for the shortest errand. It just wasn't worth it. Yet, I had to remain cheerful, encouraging, matter-of-fact. The last thing we needed was for shame or embarrassment to enter into the very sensitive potty training puzzle. Fake it long enough, and you just eventually crack.

"Underwear!" She did not even hesitate to think about her response.

"Okay." One upbeat pep talk later, and I was feeling as drained as ever. Would someone please give me a pep talk? Anyone.

I was feverishly driven to discover the cause of the regression. All the while, I told myself that knowing "why" wouldn't fix anything. If anything, it might frustrate me more. (After all, everyone kept on telling me that these sorts of relapses in potty training are extremely common.) I could tell you exactly when the troubles started, and Princess's behavior patterns since then, up to her every move. I was a serious student of my child, with a goal in mind. Still, nothing made sense. Nothing improved.

When my husband and I went on our scouting trip to New Mexico, Princess spent the weekend with her grandmother, who had quite honestly done a flawless job caring for her in our absence. But it was immediately upon our return home that things went downhill quickly. She peed on the floor like it was going out of style. She'd have two "accidents" as close together as 20 minutes. She could scarcely go more than an hour without having to go. Sometimes she said she needed to go, and she would just sit there and produce us with nothing. Such games! It seemed like she literally forgot how to control her bladder as if she had been wearing diapers all over again. Only this time, when she had an accident, she would not stop mid-stream like she used to do. She'd just let it all fly! This same girl, a few days prior to this, would often report to us when she had to go, especially when we were away from the house. And she always went. I would have called her potty trained, not potty training.

I scratched my head when I wanted to beat it against the wall, I prayed when I wanted to scream, and I shut my mouth when I wanted to lecture. I also kept obsessing about WHY things were going this way. Again, everyone told me that these relapses just happen to many children and we just had to keep working at it. They're right. But that still didn't answer that burning question. Why why WHY!? At the risk of hurting feelings by sounding interrogating, I finally asked grandmother some very specific questions about the weekend. There was nothing out of the ordinary to report.

But grandmother had a good idea.

We just got back from the doctor this morning, and I am almost ashamed to admit that I am RELIEVED that my daughter has a mild bladder infection. Did you know the young, pregnant and elderly often get bladder infections without so much as a fever?! I did not. The doctor is still ordering a culture, but she was confident enough in the diagnosis to get Princess started on some antibiotics. She did a quick test strip in the office which gave us a "maybe," and she also said she could see a tiny bit of redness and detect a slight odor as well (TMI - sorryi). But mostly it was Princess's potty training story that had this doctor pretty convinced of the presence of an infection. The other things just lined up.

Princess absolutely refused to step onto the scale so we had to use the little baby scale to weigh her, but she thought it was kind of fun to pee in a cup. Just for the record. :-)

Moral of the story for this momma:

1. Don't be so paranoid when it comes to hurting people's feelings. If I wasn't such a coward in this regard, we may have been able to figure this out a couple weeks (!!!) sooner.

2. Do not ignore your gut feeling that there is something more to discover when you're obsessed with finding out the cause of the problem. Chase that "why" within an inch of its life. In this case, finding out the cause rather than just accepting it was the only solution.

P.S. Thanks to the grandma with the good idea. We are ALL on the road to recovery. :-)

An Almost-Childless Anniversary Trip

Well I have been a little busy since the last post. Yes, that means we are still right in the thick of potty training and even though Bella is doing amazingly well with it (when we are at home, she has almost no accidents at this point), there are some not-so-good days peppered in with the good ones (like ones where we don't do quite as well in public places). However, the good days far outnumber the bad ones, so we press on with courage, sure that we will soon conquer even the public restroom! My goal is for her to be a professional public restroom user by the time we go to Disneyland at the end of the month. I'm sure we will get there. I hope this little contraption will help because the reviews on it are fantastic and it is coming in the mail!

Potty training rewards

In other news, Clay and I celebrated our fourth anniversary this past weekend. We made the brave and daring move to leave our daughter overnight for the first time in her short life. It was hard to leave her, but once we were gone, we were a little shocked at how much we reveled in getting a break from constantly thinking of our daughter's needs, especially her bathroom using needs. ;-)

In front of our train

We took the train from Williams (where we stayed the night) to the Grand Canyon, which was a novel experience that included musical entertainment from cowboys, several different types of terrain, and of course the breathtaking views of our final destination. At the canyon, we ate lunch, walked/waddled the South Rim for a couple of miles hand in hand (and ice cream in hand ;-)), got slightly sunburned and enjoyed a few glimpses wildlife. Before we knew it, the time had come to board our train for the return trip to Williams.

My handsome

Four years and many, many more to come!

Nope, we couldn't get away from our second daughter this trip. ;-) What's that? Why, yes, I am exactly 20 weeks in this picture! You are so good. Halfway there!!!

We enjoyed our trip away, but we also couldn't wait to pick up Bella. I'm pretty sure she barely missed us one bit! Her grandparents took flawless care of her and even made some headway in potty training, getting her to potty on a big toilet while visiting her great grandparents! (Grammy turned her backwards on the toilet so she didn't feel like she was going to fall in. Stroke of genius! If only public restrooms didn't have that blasted gap in the front of the seat, I bet that method would solve my public restroom woes.)

Seriously, who wouldn't miss this little "cheese" face like crazy after just a day and a half!?

And just for fun, let's take a moment to ogle over these three sweet pig tails (from my phone camera). They just make me want to munch on that perfect little neck and those plump cheeks!

Clean Floors Are Overrated

I have never been so bored and so...occupied...at the same time than I am today. That's right, we are in Potty Training - Day One. After weeks of deliberation, the hubby and I made a sudden decision last night that we are potty training Bella this weekend! Well, we'll start this weekend, and since the beginning is the hardest, it will set me up for the week.

Loosely following Mckmama's potty training advice, we set out this morning with high hopes huge fears, a clean floor, and a big bag of plain M&Ms. We are lounging on the couch the very same afternoon (during B's nap) with high hopes, a not-so-clean floor, and slightly fewer M&Ms.

This is what we have done: We set the timer for 15 minutes, offered Bella unlimited amounts of juice and started this crazy frenzy of running to the bathroom. Yes, we take her to the bathroom every 15 minutes. We chose to give her one M&M each time we go the bathroom just for cooperating and sitting nicely on the potty chair. She usually doesn't go. Even with all that juice, who really needs to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes? Well except for me. But I'm pregnant so I get a break. ;-) The point is using repetition to form good habits. She normally needs to go once every...30 to 45 minutes, give or take. Of course she doesn't always need to go on the 15 minute mark when we take her. Sometimes she might start to go and lose a few drops onto the floor, but then Clay or I (whoever is on "duty) would rush her to the bathroom using our most excited voice. Because going potty on the toilet is FUN, you guys! Sometimes she would finish on the toilet, but often she wouldn't. Regardless, we always reset the timer for 15 minutes after a bathroom visit (success or not).

She went potty on her little potty chair for the first time almost immediately this morning. I got lucky. But throughout the day, I made a very important discovery regarding our young one's bathroom habits. She does not appreciate an audience during her private moments. How do I know? Oh she would sit and sit and not go to the bathroom...and then she would urinate on the floor approximately 2 minutes later. Then she'd hold it, and we'd rush her off to the bathroom. Repeat cycle several times until her bladder was finally emptied. Then one time, I decided to leave her on the potty chair alone with instructions to "wait for mommy" while I went to mop up her piddle from the kitchen floor (gross, I know). When I walked back into the bathroom, Bella loudly announced, "I go POTTY, Mommy!" Well all be darned, she sure did. And the only times she has ever gone potty on her potty chair is when her dad or I stepped out of the room. Four times we have done that today! Each time, no audience.

Then came what I believe will be remembered as the turning point of the ordeal - certainly the turning point of the day! I was sitting at the kitchen table trying to figure out how to work my new cell phone, when Bella disappeared. Since you pretty much have to stare at your kid while using this daring, bare-bottom method so you are sure to catch them if they start to wet your floor, wandering out of the room was not really an option for Bella. But I wonder if...? Yes. She's in the bathroom!

"What are you doing Bella?" I probed.

"I be right back," she didn't miss a beat. Then she closed the door, shutting me out.

It's one of those mom moments where you just kind of stand there, a little bit puzzled, and can only manage to say something like ,"Oookay...?" Still a bit stunned at her assertiveness, and not completely comfortable with my ONE YEAR OLD to shutting me out of the bathroom, I sat back down at the table to wait it out for a minute or two. Once my impatience kicked in, I walked back to the bathroom only to be met by Bella who had just opened the bathroom door.

"I go POTTY!"

Delighted, I rushed into the bathroom and called for Clay to come. That little stinker took it upon herself to walk into the bathroom of her own volition and poop in her potty chair. Naturally, I flipped out and we broke out in the potty dance (we made it up today) and gave Bella three M&Ms. And I took a picture. Yes, of the poop. :-) Meanwhile, the dancing shook some poop loose from Bella's un-wiped bottom and she sort of danced in her poop a bit. And of course, in the excitement, Bella didn't finish the job (everyone knows you have to tinkle after you poop), so she wet a little on the floor a couple minutes after that. But let's not miss the point here. SHE IS GETTING IT!

We kept setting the timer every 15 minutes, but just before a nap became unavoidable, Bella began to see herself to the bathroom before beginning to urinate. She hasn't always made it to the potty chair, but again, let's look at the big picture: in just one day, she has learned to recognize the urge to urinate and take action.

We are bored (home bound for the weekend). We are extremely occupied (she requires a constant eye). We are hopeful (having made more headway in one day than we ever dreamed possible). Oh we still have a long road ahead of us, and we are not naive to it, but I must say that I had myself completely freaked out about something that not quite as scary as I originally believed it to be.

Take courage, future potty trainers! You too will overcome.

Potty Training Is in My Future

Well, I don't know how far away the future is, but potty training days will be here before you know it! Why? Because Bella seems to be making a habit out of informing when she has pooped. She does this by peering down at her diaper (which is of course is underneath her pants), and happily declaring...well almost yelling..."poo poooooo!" with a little lilt in her voice similar to the way you would say "choo choooooo" when you making the sounds of a train. What an overacheiver.