39 Weeks

39 weeks, yesterday

Well obviously I haven't been blogging lately, so I'm painfully overdue for some life updates.  Really it comes down to this: moving + Christmas + two little kids + pregnant = not much time/energy for much else.  As far as moving goes, we have been in our new home 2 1/2 months, and have been making some wonderful connections.  Our church has been a lifeline in this respect and we are so thankful for the community we have found through that wonderful group of Jesus-followers.  We have been embraced so quickly and unquestioningly which is just...beautiful.

Speaking of things that are beautiful, it is no secret that I think this pregnancy has been the most challenging one I have experienced to date.  However, I am so grateful to be a state of mind in these last days where I am relishing the moments, feeling pretty good (so many thanks to my chiropractor for keeping back pain at bay!), and just enjoying the beauty that is the miracle of carrying a precious, unique baby.  I can honestly say that I am not "done."  Any ladies who have been there know what I mean, but I'm not not there yet.  I am not in that achingly desperate place where I beg the baby to "get out" several times a day and pray that every contraction is the onset of labor.  I'm happy for her to stay put a while longer.   Of course, I partially want her to hang in there a little longer because my mother is flying in on the 3rd and she'll keep the kids when birthing time comes, but I also am just feeling patient.  I think I began this pregnancy with the mentality that I'd have another 41 week baby, so that is probably a huge factor.  However, it is hard to not get a little bit excited when your practitioner exclaims, "Do you think you might be in labor!?" when she examines you at your 39 week prenatal appointment.  Like when I got home from that appointment I finally did a little bit of baby laundry and started packing bags...just in case.  But the recent move is throwing me off.  Where is my breast pump and my favorite diaper bag?!

I'm not in labor.   But here are some stats (for my records), so if you don't like specific pregnancy details and vocabulary, this is a good place for you to check out. (Bye!)

36 1/2 weeks: 75% effaced, 1 cm dilated (lost my plug w/i a day or two of that news)
37 1/2 weeks:  no changes,
Went to Oregon for a 6-day Christmas vacation.  Record low of contractions during that week, including on the airplane. 
39 weeks:  80% effaced, 3 - 4 cm dilated (still a record low of Braxton Hicks contractions up to this point so I'm not really sure how that happened - ha!)

So far so good.  I'm pretty excited that I'm 1/3 of the way done before even starting labor.  This gives me courage for my goal of another natural birth, a water birth this time!  You see, unlike what most people say about how you forget the pain of a med-free delivery, I remember the pain in great detail, so I have been feeling a little anxious about doing it again.  However, in my experience the recovery after drug-free birth is so much faster than a birth with an epidural that it is hands-down worth it to me! 

And in case you think my pregnancies are just full of glam and round, "all baby" bellies, behold a small sample of my old lady pregnancy legs:

 

Be very jealous.  This is a terribly vague picture - it is much worse in person - but you get the idea.  Varicose veins run down the entire length of my legs, all the way down to my toes.  Usually they don't bother me, but sometimes they fiercely itch, and just recently they sometimes make my legs deeply ache at the end of the day.  I just hope they go away after baby time.  Please?  I'm not quite ready to compete with the old ladies yet.

;-)

One Full Belly

I haven't blogged.  Because I don't feel like it.  If I blog it's going to be a bunch of whiny, complain-y stuff that nobody wants to read like how my body hurts and my kids are taking advantage of my current condition lately/making me crazy, and how much I hate the "we don't know a soul" stage of trying to get to know folks in a new city.  You know, that sort of stuff - you don't want to read it, I don't want to write it.

So instead, I will show you how gigantic my belly is getting these days.   

These pics are both from today, which is two days short of 34 weeks.   The end is near!

As a matter of record-keeping, I should say that this baby dropped at 31 1/2 weeks.  If she is like Smooch, she will drop yet again soon...and then stick around until about week past her due date. ;-)   And my ribs will continue to thank her.

There now.  Isn't it much more fun to look at baby bellies than listen to the rants of gal like me?  You're welcome.

And also, just because I'm thinking about it right now, I have to add that I am unbelievably excited to visit family for Thanksgiving!  I have been missing some good family gatherings lately, so my heart will join my tummy in feeling very full. 

The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Children

While visiting our Oregon family about a year ago, my mother made a comment about having children that I will never forget.  It was something along the lines of, "The greatest gift you can give your children is each other."

Think about that. 

The relationship your children have with each other will in most cases outlast their relationship with even you, the parents.  Long after my husband and I am gone, our daughters will have each other.

Their relationship is about so much more than learning to survive each other during the years that they share the same roof.  How we raise our children to love each other - treat one another with kindness, respect, and consideration in spite of their differences- has the potential to instill a closeness with one another that spans decades and all of life's seasons.  And since the sibling relationship is one of the first and most uncomfortable relationships, I believe that training can greatly affect how they operate in all of their future relationships.  (I happen to think that people who have good relationships with their siblings often make the best roommates, friends, and spouses. Seriously.)

The greatest gift you can give your children is each other. 

Post edit:  I realized after a couple of comments from "onlies" that I need to clarify something because I made a strong parenthetical statement and then left it a little...vague.  I want to be perfectly clear that I do not believe only children are necessarily lacking in their relationships or social skills.  Likewise, neither do I believe that all children with an abundance of siblings grow up to make good roommates, friends and spouses.  All I am actually saying here is this:  parents have the unique opportunity to use those siblings relationships for early molding of selfish-by-nature children into caring, giving, conflict-resolving adults.  It is a rich training ground.  Note that it is the parental training in those sibling relationships that makes the major difference rather than the mere existence of sibling relationships.  That parental training can occur in other scenarios as well, without siblings.  Though I doubt the situations would be as intense or as frequent, I imagine them to still be quite effective.  In the same way, siblings can abound and the training opportunities can be sadly brushed aside.  And of course, all of this is purely my opinion.  End of post edit. ;-)

_____________

When I was growing up, I had one older brother and two younger brothers.  I loved being raised with boys as my days were full of exciting adventures like climbing trees, catching garter snakes, starting up zoos with the insects we collected, pretending to be super heroes, and trying our hands at building things.  One summer we had great plans of building a roller coaster in our backyard, but we couldn't quite get the logistics right, so we dug the biggest ditch we could instead.  My hands blistered, my shoes filled with dirt, and my arms and legs had scars from all the mosquito bites.  But I was in heaven. 

Sometime during that era, I had some friends from church that were twins:  twin girls.  They were the best of friends, giggling with each other and sharing clothes and secrets.  Suddenly I found myself desperate for that kind of relationship, and I began to yearn for a sister - a twin sister to be exact.

So I did what any girl of my upbringing would do.  I began to pray.  Hard.  Daily.  Several times a day.  

And then I realized that at my age, gaining a twin sister was impossible.  So I started to pray for a sister in general.  Any sister would do, and we would be best friends.  I prayed everyday for what felt like years, and eventually my mom announced that she was pregnant.  I was confident that it was a girl.  How could it not be?

__________

January 4th.  It was my older brother's tenth birthday.  I was turning eight in two days, on the 6th.   I recall that my older brother received birthday gifts from people who normally would not have given him a birthday gift.  They were there to see the baby, and they must have felt a little bit sorry for the boy whose birthday was to be shared from that day forward.  He didn't seem to care, and announced that the baby was his birthday present.

Likewise, I didn't care that my birthday was just days away, and I didn't get any extra gifts.  I was certain I was about to meet my sister.   

True to their tradition, my parents followed the old-fashioned route of waiting until birth to learn the baby's gender.  And true to their tradition, the new baby's siblings were treated in VIP fashion, the first to meet and hold the sweet little bundle, even before the grandparents.

I can't remember if the color of the cap gave it away, if my parent's announced it, or if my mom opened up that baby's diaper for the great reveal - they have done it each way over the years - but I had to pat myself on the back for being so smart and praying so hard:  my sister was beautiful!

She was the best thing I had ever seen.  I have so many fond memories of her as a toddler.  She had the biggest, brightest blue eyes, chestnut brown hair, and sweetest chubby cheeks and belly.  And my little sister loved to sing.  We mostly sang songs from the Lion King and The Little Mermaid - those were her favorites.  Some nights she slept snuggled up in my bed and I sang her to sleep. 

Before long, another sister came along.  Then another.  In fact, today I joke that I prayed so long and so hard for a sister, that I got five sisters - four of whom came right in a row!  I was in preteen heaven, dressing those girls up (instead of my brothers), walking around with a baby on my hip, and doing a few girlie things with them.  But mostly in those days, I still played with the boys.  I felt a bit like a second mother to my little sisters, so it was different than I expected, but I loved it. 

____________

My sister Ariel is eight years younger than I.  She just got married this summer.  My sisters are Ariel, Abigail, Adelaide, Aurora, and Anastasia.  They are currently 20, 17, 15, 13, and 7.  The youngest one, whom we call Annie, is growing up with the boys (there are three boys in a row before her).  But the other four?  They have grown up together, sharing a room, sharing clothes, sharing secrets.  They are best friends.  I look at them today, and just marvel in silence.  They have what I used to long for, and it makes me smile at their good fortune.  Their bond is recognizable.  Do they realize how lucky they are?

_____________

To this day, I enjoy doing boy things.  It has only been in adulthood that I have finally embraced the color pink (particularly in clothing) and baking.  I always assumed that when I married and had children I would have boys.  Maybe one girl, but a big ole brood of boys. 

Then our first daughter came along, and I fell in love.  Her love of frills and her sensitive feelings are endearing.  I have had my first tea parties.  And I tilt my head and furrow my brow in utter bewilderment and amusement when she screams like she's going to die...because she saw a spider in the house.  It's pretty safe to say she's all girl, and was born very much that way. 

Our second daughter arrived two years after our first, conceived immediately after an early miscarriage, and I fell in love again.  This time I fell in love with sandy-colored curls, infectious laughter, and a heavy dose of little girl cuddles and charm.   We had wanted a boy (again), but we found ourselves in a strange place of thankfulness - thankful that we don't always get what we want, because we suddenly found ourselves in need of our delightful second daughter.

And if you could see Princess and Smooch together, like I have the privilege of seeing every single day, you would sigh at the perfectness of the two of them together.  They are so sweet with one another, sharing a room, clothes (sort of), toys and laughter that leaves them both out of breath.  Of course they have their ugly moments, but we work through those and they mostly enjoy a strong sisterly bond...even at their very young ages. 

___________

The bleeding was worse than the first day of postpartum.  The cramping felt like early labor.  I clutched my barely-swollen belly in pain, fear gripping my heart.  I opted to wait until morning to call the midwife, because I already knew the answer.  The only thing I really feared was whether or not we could handle this.  Again.  This time, we had just begun to make announcements, and had exciting plans to make more announcements in a dramatic way at Christmas.  I'm not a particularly public person (especially in regards to emotions), but I was being forced into an unwanted spotlight on a stage that was thrust under my feet.  However, I knew if we kept it quiet, people would unknowingly ask prodding questions that would make me cry.  Publicly.  Christmas was three weeks away. 

___________

I begged God for a son.  Mostly, I wanted my husband to have the boy he's always wanted.  I figured, if I didn't leave Him alone, He'd give me a son if for no other reason than the fact that I wouldn't stop asking.  (Hey, don't laugh!  There are so many examples of this in scripture. :-))

"Hey Princess, do you think we're having a girl or a boy?"

"Well, we only have two girls, and that's not enough girls.  I think we're having another sister!"

"Oh you do!?  Well what about Daddy?  He's the ONLY boy.  Even Kitty is a girl."

"Welllll...I think we'll have a couple more girls and then a lot of boys can come out of your tummy after that."

Of course having a son was still a deep desire of our hearts.  However, after two miscarriages and an unnerving pregnancy complication this time around, we found that our attitudes were quite a bit different than before.  To say that we yearned for a son is not an understatement.  There is physical aching involved when a desire of your heart is unfulfilled.  However, we were just thankful that our baby - whoever he or she was - was thriving and healthy, and had not been affected by the complications.   We just wanted the chance to snuggle and know and love this baby. 

Many loved ones insisted that our baby was a boy and said "he" and "him" from the start.  Knowing our desire, they wanted so badly to see it come to fruition, being supportive with the best of intentions.  We were simply grateful for the chance to bring another life into the world, and it bothered me a little bit that no one seemed to fully understand this.  We had surrendered ourselves to whatever the Lord had decided for our family a long time ago.  People could say whatever they wanted to say - it was already determined, and we'd find out eventually.  We knew the gender of our baby wouldn't matter in the grand sceme of life, but we continued to hope for that boy.

___________

She easily slid the wand across my slippery belly, when she paused, froze the image and took in a quick breath.  "Okaaaay...are you ready to know what you're having?"

The tech had finally caught our baby in the perfect position, without any crossed legs obstructing our view. 

We were pretty sure that we already knew.  Because of complications, we had already had numerous ultrasounds, one of them between 14 and 15 weeks.  At that scan, I all but begged the tech to peek, and she gave me what sounded like an "I think, maybe"  sort of guess - not the best angle, still very early.  Not into announcing guesses, we decided to keep it to ourselves until our "big" ultrasound.  In the meantime, I studied our secret photo, and was pretty convinced that first guess was accurate.

"Ready!"

"It looks like this baby is a little...GIRL!" 

Just as we thought.  We had spent the last month getting excited about the idea, so while we were still hoping for a boy at that point, we were not surprised.  I turned to Bella and said, "Did you hear her?  Are we having a boy or a girl?"

Her demeanor was perfectly calm when she said, "Yeah I heard her.  A girl."  Then she grinned.  After all, she wasn't surprised either.  She knew the whole time that she was going to get a second sister.

I should ask her if she had been praying for a sister.

__________

We're having our third precious daughter! Do we still want a boy?  Of course we do.   We have always talked about having four kids, and so long as my aging body is up for it, we probably will have one more (just kidding about the "aging" part - that is a reference to "what they say about third babies doing a number on your body is true in my experience so far!").  I don't know if the Lord will give us a boy or not.  Maybe we will adopt a boy.  Maybe we'll have four girls.  Our hearts will continue to ache for a son, and we will continue to ask the Lord over and over and over for one.  But as we have experienced in a very real way, it's not really for us to decide.   And we're at complete peace with that.  I even shared with my husband the other day, that I have wondered if the Lord has not given us a boy because it is his plan for us to adopt one.  How many people talk about adopting, but never do it?  We talked about adoption long before we had our first child...but will we ever do it?  Christians in particular are so outspoken about being against abortion, but how many of them (us) step up, let their actions speak for themselves, and adopt an unwanted child?  Don't answer that.

I think it will always bother me that people don't seem to entirely believe us when we say that we are not disappointed that we are having another girl.  It will get under my skin when people are certain that we're "trying for a boy" when we have another baby.   When that day comes, I can assure you that we will be trying for a baby.

On a different note, I'm learning that it's okay to be the woman and mom that I am, raised with boys and all, even though I do not have any sons.  I will continue to catch lizards and grasshoppers, convincing my daughters that they are the coolest.  We'll take our girls camping, because that's one of the things that we really enjoy doing.  And just like this past weekend, our daughters will explore creeks, play in the dirt, and pee in the woods with the best of them.  Then we'll come home, clean up, and play princesses.  You see, we won't ever try to make our daughters into sons, or make them feel badly for not being boys (of course not!). Part of what comes with this journey of ours, is some personal growth.  For me, that partially involves learning that I still get to just be me even when - because of our very different life experiences - I will sometimes be unable to relate to my own daughters as they grow up in a house full of girls.  It will be yet another opportunity for me to do my best, seek wisdom, learn and grow. 

Through it all, my mom's voice echos in my head. "The greatest gift you can give your children is each other." 

Then I think of my sisters, and I glance down at my round belly imagining our daughters' futures, and I can't help but feel the slightest bit of...envy. 

Recent Favorite Things

1.  Frozen banana bites.  Oh. my. word.  I ran across the simple recipe for these delightful little treats, and I'm declaring right here and now that I am in love.  So is my hubby.  They only have four ingredients: banana, peanut butter, chocolate chips, and coconut (but I used slivered almonds b/c I didn't have coconut).  Try them!  Photo and recipe are both from (never home)maker.  They are the perfect thing when you feel like you must have a sugary treat because they are so small and mostly just banana. Win!

2.  Baby kicks and squirms from inside my belly.  That is my favorite part of whole pregnancy gig, and it is beginning to happen more regularly and noticeably.  Magical.

3.  Princess asking Smooch if she'd like to play with her, and Smooch always replying with an enthusiastic "Yea!" or "Okaaaay!"  Annnnd that it gets me off the hook so I don't have to play princesses constantly each day.  Only sometimes now. :-)

4.  Smooch's new skills...just as I was beginning to wonder if she was EVER going to make up her mind and just do it!  (Ignore my evil laugh at the end of this video.)

By the way, I bribed her with chocolate a few days ago, and that was the first time she took some steps and seemed pleased about it, wasn't tricked into it (bribery is not the same as trickery - ha ha), and she's been getting her confidence up little by little ever since that day.  Today, I have coaxed her across the room again and again. This means so many wonderful things for this pregnant momma whom has been growing physically weary of toting this toddler around.  And the look on Smoochie's face is a sight to behold- she's so proud of herself and no longer so paranoid of falling!  Before, confidence and will were the only two ingredients that were missing from her recipe.

5.  The temperatures in our neck of the woods are no longer flirting with the 100s.  Is anyone besides me just craving Fall already?  I don't like to jump the gun, but it happens to be my favorite season of all time.

6.  My Stud is turning 31 this week, and I'm still in my 20s.  ;-)  I'm just saying...

7.  After almost a year of hit-and-miss nap taking, most recently falling asleep only one out of every ten or so days, Princess has started to nap like a champ again!  She's five for five, and I think it may have something to do with the fact that I've been (very intentionally) physically wearing her out before nap time with trip to the park, children's museum, pool, or just initiating some climbing and running at our own house.  Nevermind that when she takes a good nap, she lays awake until at least 10 p.m. :-(  She inherited that from her mother.  Oops.  Sorry for passing that on, Princess girl!

17 Weeks

We're 17 weeks along today!  And here is the 16 week picture. (I take them every other week which is totally overkill, but I like it.)  I must say that time is starting to fly a little bit, which is a relief because for a long while it was just craaaaawling.  I think our recent travels have helped, my feeling good has helped, and some distractions have helped (more on that later).

So here is the nitty gritty of all things pregnancy related these days:

Nausea:  It has been 100% gone since about...12 weeks I think, give or take. 

Energy:  I felt like I could conquer the world for about two weeks after the nausea disappeared.  I still feel ten times more energetic than first trimester, but I lose almost all energy by about 2 p.m.  I even take a nap many days, which is something I usually cannot do (preggo or not) because it messes up my ability to fall asleep at a decent nighttime hour. :-)  Lately, I can nap everyday if I want and still be asleep before 11 p.m. (which is good for a "night owl by nature!).  I think I'm getting old, because 2nd trimester was so golden for me with both Princess and Smooch as far as energy went.  Or so my memory claims. ;-) Mornings are by far my most energetic time of the day.  This is so uncharacteristic for me that I have been joking that our sweet new babe must be a morning person. 

Cravings:  I still love Mexican food, anything spicy, beef, and citrus.  I've been buying organic oranges for 69 cents a pound at have been eating two a day!  Happy happy. :-)

Aversions:  I can't think of any.  All food is my friend these day. And I"m happy to report that I've been back on the meal planning, dinner cooking bandwagon for about a month now. 

Belly:  I am still noticeably bigger at 16 weeks than I was with Smooch or Princess.  Since all my Smooch belly pics are handy, I will show you a comparison below.  Yikes.  Looking through my Smoocher belly shots, I think my current 16-17 week belly looks mighty similar to my 20 or 22 week shot of Smooch.  I think I'm revving up to get huge.

Weight:  I've gained about 10 lbs. total so far.  About half of that went straight to my backside.  Laugh all you want - I'm not joking.

Pregnancy symptoms "kicking in" earlier than ever:  I think I'm falling apart.  I'm not even to the halfway point, and by each evening I'm practically walking with a limp.  Ask my husband.  He laughs at me. :-)  My lower back hurts and it's nothing the chiro can really fix because it has to do with the exaggerated curvature of the spine.  It just happens earlier and earlier with each pregnancy.  Apparently. At least for me.  Honestly, I'm just glad I can walk.  My mom told me that had such terrible hip pain with her third, my dad had to carry her in one particular instance!

Feeling the baby kick: I've been able to feel the baby kick (or somersault or whatever s/he does in there) since right about the 12 week mark, which is very similar to when I felt Smooch.  I didn't feel Princess until between 16 and 17 weeks though.  One big difference between feeling Smooch early and feeling this baby early, is that even though I'm 17 weeks now, I still feel the baby irregularly and not necessarily daily unless I'm really laying there trying to make baby move.  I think s/he has to kick pretty hard for me to feel it.  With Smooch once I started feeling her, it was regular and obvious much sooner than this time.  It's probably because my stomach was so tiny that time!

Complications:  I mentioned this really briefly in a past post, but I didn't go into detail.  Basically after some spotting one day, I elected to have an ultrasound at about 10 weeks.  During that ultrasound, they discovered a Subchorionic Bleed, which is basically a pocket of bleeding inside the uterus, between the amniotic and chorionic layers. It's not where the baby is, and is only rarely harmful to the baby.  It can, however, if it continue to grow and becomes too large, begin to pull part of the placenta away from the uterus which can result in growth problems for the baby.  The cause of the bleed is a mystery to the medical profession, but it is present in about 1 out of every 100 pregnancies.  

Because of this condition I have been on several restrictions (no lifting over 20 lbs from the ground, no hiking/climbing, etc.) which I have done my best to follow...considering that I have a 22 lb. 19-month old that still doesn't walk.  I have also been having ultrasounds approximately every 2 weeks to keep a close eye on the bleed.  In the below photo, if you look closely you can see a dark area encircling the right half of the uterus.  That dark spot is the bleed.  After a couple weeks mine grew a little bigger, but was still not too concerning.  These things typically resolve themselves by the 20th week, usually by being reabsorbed by the body.  However, mine did something very rare.  *Insert TMI warning here.*

During my 14th week, while at our hotel in Boise, ID traveling home from my sister's wedding, my subchorionic bleed actually gushed from my body in one giant river in the middle of the night.  Imagine the shock and horror!   And the mess.  And the sudden thought of, "I'm sooo glad that didn't happen at my sister's wedding yesterday!" Unsure of the implications, I definitely called my midwife.   Apparently it was fine - though certainly unusual - that this happened.   We continued our travels that morning and scheduled an ultrasound for the day after our arrival home.  You will note in the next two pictures, that lo and behold, the bleed is gone.  You can't see it well in this photo, but the u/s tech did note that there appeared to possibly be a tiny bit of residual bleeding, and some spotting of "old blood" (sorry for all the detail!) these past weeks has indicated that is likely the case.  However, my midwives have left it up to me whether or not I wanted to have another ultrasound later this month to follow up yet again, or whether I'd rather wait for our 20-week ultrasound.  To be quite frank, I was getting pretty weary of driving 45 minutes to a different city for these constant appointments, so I have opted to wait for our 20-week u/s...which is actually scheduled during the 19th week.

Oh and I'm still on all my "light duty" restrictions until further notice, just to be safe.  As tempting as hiking is...   Not.

And the baby looks perfect by the way.  His/her growth is right on target.

And little cutie pie sucks his/her thumb already!  Look at that sweet little forefinger wrapped around the nose. :-)

Gender:  We'll find out gender at the big 20 week ultrasound, and we'll announce it.  We kinda sorta maybe already know what we're having because I had the tech check at the 14 week ultrasound and she took a stab at it.  But then she promptly said, "I wouldn't paint anything b/c it is still on the early side to get a really good idea, and I don't have the greatest angle."  We're not into announcing shaky guesses (even though I agreed with the tech's guess based on the ultrasound image), so we've chosen to wait until we get that info. verified. :-)  We can't wait though!  I love knowing what we're having because it makes everything seem so much more real.  

Well, that was a novel. 

Two Pictures to Share

Just popping in to share our latest picture of our newest family member.  This ultrasound was done a week ago on Monday.

Our sweet baby was 10 weeks and 4 days in this pic.  Now (since I'm so slow) we're almost to the magical 12 week mark. 

And it's official.  I. Love. Food. A. Lot. All of a sudden. 

And now I can't stop eating.  I don't actually look at the the clock all day, but I'm pretty sure I eat something every hour.  Two hours, if I want to risk angering the belly.

Thank God that food tastes good again. 

Back to eating healthy!

We're scheduled to have another ultrasound this coming Monday because of a minor complication w/ my uterus (Subchorionic Bleeding).  But don't worry - it isn't threatening to the baby and should go away on its own shortly.  However, they still need to follow up with it.  So, more pictures to come!

In other news, my little Princess is getting ready to be a flower girl for my sister's wedding.  I couldn't find a dress with red on it to save my life, so I bought I white one and sewed my own ribbon onto it.  I finally got the sewing done today and am quite proud that I didn't have to seam rip anything.  I'm a seam ripping queen normally.

Obviously this is the back of the dress.  And dontcha love those pig tails with that head band?  Ha.

If you don't see me in blogland very frequently in the coming days, I'm just here eating my family out of house and home, using my new found energy for some good in the world (catching up on cleaning is very good for the world), and getting ready to host some of my favorite people in our home for the next week-ish, followed by a trip of our own. 

Did I ever mention how much I love summer?

All About Pregnancy T5: 10 Weeks

I'm 10 weeks along today, and feeling a little better everyday. 

Pregnancy highlights...

Nausea:  I started out feeling terrible - not throwing up - but wanting to morning, noon and night.  I would literally lay awake at night because my stomach bothered me so much.   In fact, there was an entire week that we ate take out everyday because I couldn't stand that lingering smell of food after cooking.  By the time that smell hung around the bedrooms for a couple hours and began to smell old-ish, it made me sick.  Enter vitamin B6 and my stomach began to improve.  Then I switched to a high quality, whole food, expensive prenatal that I took with Smooch, and I am *almost* a new woman. (That would be the New Chapter Organics Perfect Prenatal vitamin in case you're dying to know.)  Now I generally feel good most of the time unless I  - oops - wait too long to eat something then I have to run to the kitchen and eat something as quickly as I can find it lest I have to run to the bathroom instead.  Still no vomiting, so that is great. 

With Princess (#1), I threw up a lot but my stomach mostly only bothered me prior to throwing up and then would feel better the rest of the day.  My sickness was also limited to the morning.  With Smooch (#2), I never felt too terribly sick, never threw up  (minus that one time I got the stomach flu), and my queasiness was also limited to the morning hours.   With both girls, nausea was completely gone by 9 1/2 weeks.  No such luck this time.

Energy:  My energy level is MUCH better than it was at say...6 weeks, when all I could do was lay around the house.  I also credit my vitamins for the change here because I remember noticing the same difference when I began those prenatals with my pregnancy with Smooch.  I still am pretty wiped out, but now I can at least muster up the energy for an occasional outing, a craft, and some housework. 

With Princess, my energy level was the highest and with Smooch it was middle of the road compared to this time.  This is the most tired I have been.  As much as I'd like to think it is because I now have two children to look after, I have to remind myself that I cared for other babies/toddlers in our home full time when I was pregnant with Smooch. 

I think this is a simple case of "my body is two years older each time."

Cravings:  I basically hate all food and eat for mere survival and to hush my queasy stomach.  I eat all day long, and I eat a lot of terrible, no good convenience foods because I can hardly stand to prepare the food that I hate.   Don't get me wrong, once I began to eat, I sort of like the food, but it's the thought of food that I can't stand.  I am not really cooking again yet (which I hate) because I can hardly think about food long enough to meal plan.  Spicy Mexican food if one of the most tolerable foods. I've actually been putting hot sauce on random things...like egg rolls.  Once in a while I crave fruit (peaches and mangos), and on Sunday I begged my husband to grill burgers.  However, those moments are uncommon. 

With Princess, I craved citrus and more citrus...and fried food like chicken fingers.  With Smooch, I consistently craved beef, citrus, and coffee.

Aversions:   I have never hated cooked vegetables more in my entire life.  They are tolerable raw, but the mere thought of cooked veggies makes me feel ill.  Unless they're in something like a pot pie.  Oh and I can hardly stand the smell of coffee.  It's really nice that it's not a temptation for me this time because I loooove me some good coffee.  Normally. :-)  I don't even like herbal tea these days.

With Princess, I can't remember my aversions besides coffee, though there were many.  (See why I'm trying to get this stuff written down?)  With Smooch, I had almost no aversions, probably because I felt the least sick.

 

Belly:  I feel like I look huge, but people assure me that I do not.  I swelled up a bit at 5 or 6 weeks and have looked almost the same since then.  The uterus doesn't push out past the pelvic bone until week 12, so I read, so it makes sense that it's mostly a bunch of bloating and displacement of flab at this point. ;-)

By 10 weeks with Princess, I didn't even have a hint of a belly.  With Smooch, I was just beginning to pooch out the tiniest bit, so of course I took my first belly picture of that pregnancy.  

Check out the difference between Smooch's pregnancy and pregnancy T5 (as is the 5th T. family member).  Also, note my pale skin this time. Ha ha.

Weight:  I have gained pretty much nada.  Maybe a pound or two, but I fluctuate anyway, so that's hard to say.

With Princess, I had lost weight at this point from throwing up so much (I was at least 10 lbs heavier before I got pregnant with Princess than I weigh now, so that was not concerning to the dr. or to me).  With Smooch, I had gained about 5 lbs. by this point, but I had been probably too thin, and I didn't feel very sick, so I ate a ton.

Pregnancy symptoms "kicking in" earlier than ever:  Some days my hips, knees and even ankles hurt - even when I'm chiropractically in alignment.  I also walk a little funny at moments already.  Annnd I can't hold a chiropractic adjustment longer than two weeks (maybe one is more like it) but everything is loosened up so that I will often pop back into place on my own just as easily as I slide out of place.  I think it's safe to say that the friendly hormone called Relaxin is a little over-achiever and I'm nearly prepared for birth (as of about 6 weeks along).   With Princess, Relaxin loosened me up in the third trimester, and with Smooch during the second trimester.  I have read that your body kicks into high gear earlier and earlier with each subsequent child.  This is true.  And it can mean that first trimester nausea and lethargy is laced with some of the aches of later pregnancy.  Rude.

I finally fulled weaned Smooch a couple of weeks ago (she was nursing just one time before bed), and now I'm already making colostrum.  Isn't that great!?  :-/ 

All joking aside, I feel so privileged to carry this baby, and I don't take for granted one moment of our miraculous journey.  Do I feel anxious to hurry up and begin the beautiful days of second trimester during which I'm reminded how much I enjoy being pregnant?  Absolutely!  But I'm also content to be right where I'm at in this moment, soaking up as much of the good as I can, thanking God for this sweet blessing. 

For People Who Like to Read about Physical Therapy & "Morning" Sickness

I have a few things to share, and I'm feeling quite a bit better so far today than most days, and the little ones are napping like champs, so I figure better go for it while I can!

First of all, Miss Smooch had her usual Tuesday morning physical therapy today.  It took half of the session to get her to show off her newest skills, but she finally warmed up and went to work.  I'm so proud of her.  She's cruising on everything - furniture, my legs, the wall.  I have believed for almost a week now that Smooch is ready to take off walking...just as soon as she's ready.   As in, she has to gather up her courage and let go. ;-)  Other than that, she's ready.

She's 17 months today by the way.

And after her p.t. session today, her therapist said that she didn't think Smooch needs therapy anymore.  (Also something I had been thinking for a few weeks, but haven't said out loud to them.  I just felt badly saying, "no thank you" to their services right before those first steps.  Talk about robbing them of one of the biggest rewards of their job.) Sooo...they will check in on Smooch once a month - which will probably only be one more time - until she meets her p.t. goal (walking).

And for the record, even though the therapy has been wonderful in getting Smooch motivated, and in teaching me some strategies to use between therapy sessions, I still firmly believe that the chiropractic care in correcting her pelvic alignment was the big turning point for her.  After that (crawling within days), Smooch began to progress in her other gross motor skills and a normal/rapid pace. 

I'm pleased as punch that my 17-month-old, who was not even rolling or scooting at 13 months old, is now about to take off walking.  Of course I'll be plastering that news all over the internet once it happens.   It's a momma's job to be excited about her babies successes you know.

The next thing I would like to say is that I have been feeling quite a bit better than my little "I'm pregnant" post.  I think the kicker was that I started taking vitamin B6.  Thinking back, I took that per my doctor's recommendation for the nausea I faced when I was pregnant with Princess.  Then with Smooch, I felt pretty darn good, so I never even tried to do anything for nausea with her.  So this time around, feeling much like I felt with Princess, I couldn't remember any of those good ole tricks from before - it has been something like 4 years since then.  Well thanks to my also-pregnant-sister-in-law B., I am reminded of how wonderful vitamin B6 is for the sickies.  

At 2 days shy of 8 weeks along, today has been my best day since the sickies set in.  The strange thing is that when I wake up each morning, I feel pretty good (assuming I got adequate sleep).  I can even brush my teeth first thing without gagging or dry heaving.  (Aren't you glad you're reading this?)  Then I eat breakfast and I usually go downhill from there, feeling pretty gnarly right up until bed time.  Off and on, but mostly on.  But not nearly as bad as before the B6 mind you. Well today I feel pretty good.  In fact, I did (yesterday's  :-/ )dishes, a couple loads of laundry, and bathed the girls all before noon.  I'm a tad woozy at the moment, but it's 2 p.m. where I live so this is actually great! 

So you know when your kids are taking great naps and the UPS man does that ridiculous, simultaneous knock and ring thing and you just pray that your kids stay asleep?  Well that just happened a few minutes ago, so I have a beautiful, red bridesmaid dress begging me to try it on for size.  My kids are still asleep. :-)

I Have Something to Tell You...

YES, I AM PREGNANT!!!

Here is the scoop - questions people commonly ask, and questions most would never dare to ask:

When in January are you due?  I'm due January 5th, which is the birthday of my lovely "twin" sister-in-law, the day before my birthday (we were born the same year), and the day after my brother's and sister's

shared birthday.  Got all that?  All that to say, it's a crazy week. :-)

However, since I seem to have the proclivity for birthing babies a week past due dates anyway, it would work out nicely if babycakes was born in mid-January as well.  You know, to get a little further away from Christmas.  We already have a Christmas Eve baby, you know. 

Are you hoping for a boy this time?  Are you really asking that?  I think you know the answer. :-)

How have you been feeling?  Thanks for asking.  I am feeling terrible. ;-)  I'm 7 weeks along tomorrow, and morning sickness and someone-please-pick-me-up-off-the-floor exhaustion kicked in at about 5 weeks.   So for two weeks, I've been laying on the couch, failing at cleaning my house, and raising my children on movies.  In past pregnancies, I have felt good by 9-ish weeks, so I'm praying to God that particular pattern repeats itself.  For those who relish detail, I am not throwing up, but my stomach is very angry with me and I sometimes even lay awake at night with nausea.  I just keep praying, "Help me God help me God help me God."  Yes, the girl who survived unmedicated childbirth is a big baby when it comes to the sickies. 

Is this pregnancy different from your other pregnancies?   Oh my word, yes, and I could already write a novel about it.  In fact, I will probably dedicate a (boring?) blog post to just that at some point.  For now, suffice it to say that in addition to the all day and all night sickness, I am about to bust out of my biggest pair of non-maternity jeans.  At 7 weeks.  Dear me.  Ladies, they are not joking about your third baby doing strange things to your body.  There were some big differences between Princess and Smooch's pregnancies, but this is just bizarre. 

Is it strange for you to refer to this baby as your third, when this is actually your fifth pregnancy?  Yes it is.  So strange, in fact, that I will promptly be coming up with a nickname for this sweet baby so I don't have to use numbers at all when referencing pregnancies. :-)  I do think of our babies in Heaven all the time, so in actuality I think of Smooch as my third baby, and this baby as my fifth.  I can't help it, but I also realize that to constantly allude to my miscarriages makes people insanely uncomfortable, so I'll try to behave myself.  Our culture is weird by the way.

Are you nervous announcing your pregnancy so early b/c of your history?  Not at all.  Looking back, there was something  not quite right about those pregnancies that ended in miscarriage from the very beginning.  When I miscarried at 9 weeks in December this past year, I neither felt sick nor tired (among other things) the entire time.  The Lord has given me a steady peace about this baby from the beginning.  We also already saw the heartbeat last week, which is an excellent sign that things are progressing perfectly.  I personally am taking all my ridiculous pregnancy symptoms (like sicker than ever) this go-around as affirmation that things are going good as well.  So I am extremely thankful in spite of how my body feels.

And by the way, I am also not afraid to discuss my miscarriages b/c my theology is such that I don't believe in "word curses" and other such superstitions.  My God is bigger and stronger than any pain I have ever experienced, so I move forward without fear of my past or fear of my future.

Are you going to find out the gender of your baby?  Yes.  Per our pre-children deal, my husband and I have agreed to always find out the gender of our babies.  He wanted no more than three kids. I wanted four to six kids.  He wanted to find out gender.  I wanted to be surprised.  We struck a bargain.  He would give me four kids, if I agreed to find out the gender of each one.  I think I got the better end of the deal. :-)

How/when did you find out you were pregnant?  I couldn't stop crying the day my period was supposed to start, which is really out of character for this even-keel girl, pregnant or not.  Feeling like a lunatic, I went to the store on a whim.  I was so out of sorts that I forgot my wallet.  So I left the pregnancy test with the man at the checkout counter, announcing that I'd be back in ten minutes with money.  :-)  When I came back and made the purchase, the clerk wished me good luck on my way out.  Ha ha.  I got the fastest, darkest positive line, and I was in shock because I was so certain that I was not pregnant.

Okay those are all of the "F.A.Q.s" I can think up right now!  Hope your week is a good as mine...minus the sickies. :-)

December 19th - Where did you go?

Our hastily packed bag has been set aside.  After a few days, I finally got tired of it taking up my space.  Our toiletries are strewn about the bathroom counter.  Tiny pink clothes remain folded and neatly stacked in the top drawer of my wardrobe closet.  Yes, my due date came and went.  Just as my mom came and went, trying to time her visit from rainy Portland just right.  And just as contractions come and go in a teasing, almost torturous manner each day.  "Longer, stronger and closer together."  Naw...they usually don't even last long enough for me to bother timing.

I was due on Christmas day.  I was born 12 days late to my mother who spent only an hour or so at the hospital before I arrived.  Maybe this is payback.  Maybe I will have a short labor too?

The entire reason I switched doctors is because I was unhappy with how quickly my previous one rushed into induction shortly after a due date without even bothering to check on the baby or look for signs of due date inaccuracy.  Having been induced with our first daughter, this feels like a test to see how serious I am about avoiding induction until medically necessary (such as the placenta starting to lose it's ability to support life around 42 weeks).  At this moment, my resolve is stong.

Might we spend Christmas in the hospital where our 2-year-old is not allowed to visit?  I hope not, but perhaps.  Might I have to return all of our cute "baby's first Christmas 2009" stuff?  It's looking like a stong possibilty.  Or maybe I'll keep it as a momentum.  Hmm.

Either way, I pray every day for excrutiating labor pains.  Bring it.

Just Two Things

Princess on Halloween

Me at 36 weeks (taken this past weekend).

Oh and Happy Thanksgiving!  I guess that would make it three things...  :-)

We're Still Here - We're Just Outside!

I've been a terrible at updating my blog lately. Either a) I've been feeling too exhausted in the third trimester to care, b) The weather finally dipped below 100 degrees and we've been busy doing things outside! c) Time has been just slipping away like sand between my fingers and the other day I suddenly realized October is more than halfway over and I've only baked once, or d) All of the above. You decide.

In a snapshot, here are some things we have been up to lately! We had Princess's birthday party the first weekend in October which was a smash! I spent hours making these to eat instead of traditional cake, and failed to remember to take one good picture of them.

We had some professional pictures taken of Bella by Debbie Kilduff at Sonoran Lane Photography. We think she does a fantastic job!

We made use of our Disneyland annual passes again and took a quick weekend turn-around trip the second weekend in October. This time Nan came with us.

One day we visited a dairy with Princess's cousins, and we learned where the milk comes from that we buy at the store.

And yes, we milked this cow, and yes she was thinking about kicking us (I'm sure, like with humans, it hurts when you do it wrong! Ha ha), and no we weren't afraid.

In general we have just been spending lots of time outdoors, with evenings at the park as a family, the pumpkin patch, a football game with Daddy, Grammy and Papa, and most recently a play date with Princess's buddy Jaelyn. I'm always tickled pink to see these girls obvious affection for each other! (I stole this picture from Jody. Aren't their "cheeeese" faces amazing!?)

My Stud has been back and forth to New Mexico for meetings a few times as he is already working almost entirely on the groundwork for the new job, while still sitting at the same desk he has been at for the past two years. We are planning a trip to find a rental house sometime in November.

Princess officially dubbed us "Mom" and "Dad" almost the minute she turned two. She must have picked the words up in conversation as My Stud and I mention our parents to each other. We are still both a bit in denial and continue to refer to ourselves as "Mommy" and "Daddy." ;-)

Speaking of things that happened the minute she turned two, the phrase "I need help!" has been almost completely replaced with "I do it my byself!" (you read that right - she switches "my" and "by." Hee hee!) With her newfound independence she has found an extra dose of patience. She will spend as much as ten minutes doing something (like trying to put on her shoes) that would have previously frustrated her to tears in 30 seconds flat.

She seems to have had a cognitive growth spurt because all of a sudden she remembers and talks about things from day to day like never before. For example, we told her two days in advance that we would be going to the football game with Grammy and Papa and first thing in the morning both days (and several times throughout the day), Princess asked about that event. Also, she has declared, "Let's go to Disneyland!" at least once a day since we got back over a week ago...which reminds me, she tries to boss everyone around now too. Oh my.

It has been fun that she can really anticipate things all of a sudden, but we have to be especially careful what we tell her now! Oh it goes without saying that, as always, that we have really been enjoying our precious daughter.

Sweet Baby Sister continues to grow inside my big ole belly. I'm in the 31st week now, and this picture was taken at 30 weeks. Everything with the pregnancy continues to go well, and I have been feeling really fantastic! I'm starting to tire more easily than before, but of course nothing like the first trimester (thank God!). In the 7th month, I am finally starting to feel reasonably large, and simple things like bending over to pick something up off the floor may yield an "Umph!" I will continue to watch our nieces through the end of the month, and after that, I will start to focus on packing up most of our house so that I don't have to do it in when I am a full term giant or when I am a sleep-deprived producer of milk. ;-)

The last thing of note as far as the pregnancy goes is that I am officially entering The Feisty Stage. You know the one I mean. Normally calm and easy-going, I literally screamed at my phone one day last week. You know how when you leave someone a voicemail, sometimes that annoying woman interrupts your message about 10 seconds into it to tell you that she deleted your message and you need to start all over? Yeah. After my third attempt to leave someone a message, each one getting faster and shorter, I let out a terrible, angry shriek. Where did that even come from? Poor Princess. Oh wait, she was napping and slept right through it. Anyway, that is certainly not my usual reaction. No, Mother, not since I was a teenager. :-) The next day, I definitely snapped at a lady (at Bible study - HA) whose criticism I did not find amusing. That was very out of character for me, especially since I don't know that woman very well. I realize these are minor infractions, but keep in mind that we still have two months to go so this potentially gets more interesting. If I get too bad, I'm going to hide in my house until I go into labor. (I must remember to ask my husband if I was like this toward the end of my pregnancy with Princess because I don't remember it if I was.) Feel free to comment with your own "crazy pregnant lady" stories so I feel better about my short fuse. Okay? Thanks!

Hope you all enjoyed the family update!

About a Baby

18 weeks

Growing up with brothers, and not getting my first sister until I was already a spoiled 8-year-old tomboy-princess, I easily imagined that I would always have a hoard of boys when I got married and had my own children, and maybe one girl. Well don't you know that God has plans that differ from ours. And I have to say that I'm not disappointed.

I looooved growing up with the boys, and have some of the most fond memories of my childhood. Still, I always wanted a sister close to my age. As a young child, I knew twin sisters who went to our church for a period of time. With no comprehension of how these things work, I used to pour out my heart to God, begging him for a twin sister of my own. I wanted to share clothes, braid each other's hair, and have a built-in best friend. Well as I said, I did get a sister -- four in a row actually (and one more several years later). However, I was far too old for sharing clothes and more so mothered those poor girls like there was no tomorrow! (Then I moved to Arizona for college. When we live closer again, we are sharing clothes, girls!!! ;-) )

I'm sure we'll get a boy or two eventually (we have talked about having four children), but for now God saw fit to give to my daughters that which he did not give me, and I have the amazing privilege of helping them to nurture their relationship. So, I'll put my thoughts of climbing trees, basketballs, insects, and all things squirmy back on the shelf for the moment and fully embrace the world of bows, frills, tea parties, complicated emotions, baking, and princess dresses. And they'll be the luckiest girls in the world with the most doting daddy I have ever known.

Yes, a girl it is! Now we are knee deep in beautiful girl names. I love this part. :-)

(Look at this sweet baby, rolled up in a ball with her knees at her head. She even sucked her thumb and yawned for us!)

Looking Back, I Look Ahead

I adore being pregnant, but am told I am a minority in that sentiment. Oh I know the beginning has a lot of down sides it seems, and I'm quick to admit that I have thus far been blessed with easy pregnancies. Whatever the case, I love it even in the beginning. After all, I know that even morning sickness will eventually give way to beautiful baby squirms and kicks. Fatigue will soon fade away as new excitement bursts forth to take it's place. My sensitive nose will stop colliding with my stomach and my movements will be encumbered by the most adorable kind of belly.

When I was pregnant with our daughter, everything was new and surprising. This time, I have some idea of what to expect, though surely many things will be different. However, now I feel like I am visiting with an old friend, which has it's own sweetness. Morning sickness I know thee well. Fatigue, we are well acquainted couch mates. Aches and pains, you have become my friends. Dreams, you know my soul. Fears, we've met before. Love, you know no end.


I write about these things to take time and reflect so that I don't lose sight. In this current daily drudgery that quite frankly does not afford me much energy for things such as reading and writing, I desire to not lose sight of this amazing miracle that I am humbled to be a part of, and the wonderful Creator who set it into motion.

Getting Ready For Christmas...in April

It's been a busy week full of early bedtimes and excessive eating. And not just because of family Easter celebrations all weekend long. It's just that all this baking has been wearing me out!




I mean seriously, it's a lot of work to make four whole cupcakes. You know, while my husband is out of town and I must engage our 18-month-old in the baking so she doesn't feel left out.



Then there was so much laundry to attend to so Miss B would have something clean and festive to wear to a family function or two this weekend.



Oh the life of a wife and mother! MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!!

Happy Easter everyone. Let us celebrate the resurrection of our Savior and ALL new life on this wonderful day!

P.S. We're due December 19th, just in time for Christmas...or so.

P.P.S. I've never been more hungry in all my life. I do not remember this with my first pregnancy.